September 30

I'm at the endoscopy clinic this morning.

This place is kind of amazing, there's a brisk and cheerful vibe, and I remember last time in the OR they were playing '90s R&B and everyone seemed to be having a nice time.

Walking here up 2nd Avenue through the East Village, I was feeling an excitement and energy that I remembered from when I first moved to New York, and realized, with some surprise, that I've never felt out of place here. Even from when I first landed in the city and was crashing on a friend's couch out in Bay Ridge, I just sort of felt innately like I was a part of the whole thing, this city. It was maybe slightly delusional! But I've never questioned it and certainly don't now. And so walking up 2nd Ave in the bright fall sun, everyone around me in a hurry to get wherever it is their day needs them, I felt so at ease and full of gratitude for being here, and walking past all these old personal landmarks — past where I used to walk to class at J-school, past the old theater we went for some screening in the early BuzzFeed days, past the apartment of the guy I used to go check in on as part of volunteering at hospice, the bar I had some low key birthday thing I had in my 30's, past a friend's old apartment above Cafe Véloce. What a place. What a joy to walk through the city in the fall. 🍁